More than conquerors...: January 2006

So I gather people have had enough of my *works of art* and it is time for a new post.

What have I been up to?...Well, I will actually be off to my church's Leaders' Retreat in a few hours. Wow, has it already been a whole week since KYLC ended?

Yesterday: saw Memoirs of a Geisha, and the Australia Day fireworks. I like the Australia Day ones because they are so close, you can smell the sulfur and it feels like a few of the stray sparks are going to fall on you. As it was happening I thought about how glorious it was and how when Jesus returns it will be a thousand times better. I've never really grasped how magnificent Jesus' return will be like, there's nothing you can really compare it with, so for now I'll think of it as a really really really good fireworks display.

Geisha was alright, they experienced *technical difficulties* halfway through the movie, the only way to describe how the movie stopped playing was that it was like someone burning a hole in the middle of a picture, and the white hole gradually spread to the edges of the screen, and then it went all black, accompanied by a noise that sounded like a cassette tape getting stuffed up. So we had to sit there for a few minutes while they fixed it. That was interesting, never had that happen to me before.

Last Saturday: Woke up late, went to Glue leaders' meeting, went to see Symphony in the Domain (Gershwin's World), with Pun, Angi and Loz. They opened with Rhapsody in Blue, and closed with An American in Paris, and Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture (which is obviously not Gershwin, but I suppose it was a good excuse to incorporate fireworks into the performance). (Yay for fireworks!) We should definitely go again next year, with more people.

Last Monday-Friday: Katoomba Youth Leaders' Convention. If I could post everything we learnt about, I would, but that would take way too long. Overall, for me anyway, it was a week of lack of sleep, learning to play texas hold'em (and actually winning a few times), learning the meaning of the word "safe" (don't ask), going though biblical theology and trying to write a Bible study on Amos 5:18-27, and lots of challenging talks and workshops.

The thing that challenged me most was whether or not we are living consistently in our day to day lives as well as in church on Sundays. The speaker, Al Stewart, described it as "the carpark miracle" - the church carpark is where miracles can happen, in terms of people's behaviour - as soon as you step outside your car, you transform yourself into a perfect Christian, and no one has to know what you get up to during the week.

And also I was challenged by how you can be involved in religious activity, but have your heart far away from God.

I came home with my messy notes, and as usual after these camps, felt like there was so much you learnt and were challenged by, and so much you have to change in your life or in your attitude towards things....but then time passes, and you kinda forget about how fired up you were, and then never get around to it.

So then I thought I might try to write a song about the stuff I had been taught, because I find that songs are a good way to remember a bunch of words you wouldn't otherwise remember (hence the Glue mission statement song, and the one with Colossians 1:28 as the chorus, for those of you who know what I'm talking about). So I went through my notes on the talks and wrote down all the points that had jumped out at me, and then tried to force some structure into it and make it rhyme, etc, etc...and a lot of experimenting and D/F# chords later....a song! (which sounds like all my other ones, but oh well, I know I'm doomed to being boring and unoriginal.)

After I had finished it, felt pretty satisfied, played it a few times, tried it out on piano...but the weird thing was, the more I worked on it, the less sincere I felt, and at one point I thought that by writing it maybe I was contradicting what I was actually writing about. It's kinda hard to explain. Trying not to be a hypocrite but feeling hypocritical about it.

Some of the words are either directly from the speaker's notes, or my notes...so it might not ever make complete sense to other people...but it makes sense to me, I guess. My KYLC in a package, you could call it.

When You Return
I’m sorry Lord when I fill my life with empty words
And sometimes when I sing, an empty song is all that’s heard
I’m sorry when I break the promises I’ve made
And when You see my heart drifting further and further away

I’m sorry Lord when I strive to fill my life with things of this world
And when I forget I need to be changed by Your Word
I’m sorry I forget You always keep the promises You’ve made
And the pain it causes You when we turn away

Sometimes this world feels like a tragedy
And we wonder if You’re there
But it’s Your severe mercy
That shows how much You care

And if it wasn’t for the power of the cross
I wouldn’t see Your salvation on the other side of Judgement Day
I want You to see me living more like You each day, till when You return
I want to enter Your kingdom with the humble heart that You’ve set me free to have
And know You are with us as we share Your love
Till when You return again

Everything is everywhere
Dusty carpet, strands of hair
Search for order in the chaos
Wouldn't know what has been lost
Clothes absorb the stifling heat
Remnants of sleep in unmade sheets
Objects languish on the floor
Just ignore it, close the door

My room needs cleaning. It's a work in progress. At least did something productive today in the form of vacuuming the house for the duration of one and a third Taxiride albums. So now my mummy will be happy because the whole house is vacuumed...except for my room that is, because you can't really see much carpet at the moment.

I wonder how many trees go into someone's education and training in a lifetime. There's a lot of ex-trees in this room, some of them in rather expensive forms which have barely been used: