I passed pharmacy practice!

I passed! I passed! No, I more than passed! I got a credit! I got a credit in pharmacy practice! Wow my first credit in pharmacy practice, and at 73 it was nearly a distinction too! 73!

*jumps up and down and goes hyperactive*

Man, imagine what I would have gotten if I hadn't stuffed up my OSCE...

Oh who cares, I passed pharmacy practice!

And I passed med-chem too, not by very much, but who cares about med-chem anyway?

Yay, I got more than a pass in pharmacy practice, what a fluke...heeheeheeheeheehee...

*is high*


Sigh....must calm down, it's just a number after all. And still waiting on everything else.

But I passed pharmacy practice! =D =D =D

[EDIT 8pm Wednesday]

74 in Pharmacokinetics!!!!! o_o O_O Are you serious????? For pharmacokinetics???

=D =D =D

They must have scaled it =)

Wow, God is being majorly nice to me so far...(Is "majorly" even a word? I'm so excited I can't write sentences properly)...man, I almost feel bad cos I know (and He knows) how little work I put into this subject.

This thing with exam marks coming out one by one is so excruciating...cos you don't know when they're going to put it up you want to keep checking....but they seem to be coming out really early this year...??

Wow....sorry...I haven't gotten this excited over exam marks in a while...not over getting credits anyway....it's been a tough semester...

Glue tertiary group social

Sometimes I wish I was wise. I don't know the standard amount of wisdom a nineteen year old should possess, but an abundant supply of wisdom would come in handy when sitting down to think about things. And I don't just mean thinking about things, I mean, thinking about things (there is a difference).

I guess today a lot of little unexpected things happened. We woke up and it was raining. It was bright and sunny by lunchtime. Someone rocked up wearing a wig. Ended up going to Stanwell Tops instead of the national park. Found a blue-tougued lizard at the beach. Heard someone was in hospital. Nearly got lost driving back from the beach. And we talked about serious stuff in the car on the way there and back. (I'm not saying it's a bad thing it was serious. I just didn't expect it to be.)

What sort of stuff did we talk about....argh, my memory is failing me...ok, I'll just mix in my own thoughts as well...

Do we really rely on our leaders too much? I'd never really given it much thought, how much we rely on them. For what? To give us the answers in bible study? Well, we don't always ask for them, some of them just like to talk =p. To organise KYC, and things we can do to help other people...Are we really that spoon-fed, and we don't even know it? How much responsibility do we take ourselves, growing ourselves as Christians, spurring one another towards love and good deeds...

Are our conversations too shallow? Surely people are deeper than their jobs, courses, exams, what they did during the week. Why do we find it hard to talk about what is troubling us, about our weaknesses in how we are going. Do we not trust each other enough? Two weeks ago in bible study, we agreed that loneliness affects everyone. OK. So where are all the lonely people?

Are we too analytical in the way we deal with God's word... too lacking in emotion? Are we too analytical in our relationships with one another?

The words we speak are here today and gone tomorrow, but their effects can last forever.

Parting comments went something like: "Thanks for the conversations."
"That's ok, you should be having them without me."

Sometimes I wonder if some of our leaders were ever kids.

Brain is feeling rather sun-drenched at the moment. You know that feeling, when you've been out in the sun all day, and then you can't think properly. Often accompanied by feeling salt and sand blasted. I feel like I should think more about these issues and find answers to questions, but it probably wouldn't get anywhere. Discussions with yourself generally never do.

****
Where is the meaning in everything? Did what we do today have any meaning? Did it have eternal value?

I don't think I'm on very friendly terms with reality at the moment. Sometimes I find hanging out with reality a rather excruciating experience. Daydreams are a lot nicer. Completely under your control and can be as complicated or uncomplicated as you wish. You can progress at your own pace and jump back and forth to your own liking. The past and the future are both just a thought away.

This is the curse of consciousness, to be able to dream of freedom while trapped within the confines of reality. Peace with reality is so hard to come by. You think about it too much and it eludes you.

How good is your life?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	4.9
Mind:	3.6
Body:	6.8
Spirit:	5.4
Friends/Family:	2.9
Love:	0
Finance:	4.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Yay for quizzes stolen off other people's blogs!


OK, so my life sucks. Hmmm...should I be worried? =P

I like my score for "love".

*ROFL*

It was a questionably beautiful day
Cloudless skies and burning rays
Seduced too soon by the heat of noon
The morning cool melts away

What are we searching for
What are we hoping for
Some kind of escape
Some kind of awake
An end to all these beautiful mistakes?

To this questionably beautiful face
In this questionably beautiful place
I have nothing to say
For what will take away your pain?
Lost in beautiful grace
Lost and gone without a trace

Questionably Beautiful

Is it just me, or what is it with the recent (and not so recent) proliferation of songs with "beautiful" in the title? Darren Hayes, James Blunt, Pete Murray, Christina Aguilera, and probably a whole bunch of other songs I don't know.

Where are the songs about being ugly? (besides Not Pretty Enough....and anyway, that was more about being invisible) Or at least about being questionably beautiful? Like, you have nice eyes, but your hair is really ugly, but if you wore a hat, then I might just be swayed towards thinking that you're beautiful? Or, I think you're as beautiful as a beautiful cow, or something like that.

Ahh...don't mind me.

The Blues

~Switchfoot

Is this the new year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit and miss?
I miss direction, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in...

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the new year or just another desperation?

You push until you're shoving
You bend until you break
Do you stand on the broken fields where your fathers lay?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in...

Is nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?
It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down
And the hungry and poor and deserted are found

Are you discontented?
Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?
It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in...

Is there nothing left now, nothing left to sing?
Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
Is this the new year or just another desperation?

Does justice never find you?
Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?
And nothing is okay
'Til the world caves in,
Until the world caves in...

Hmmm, so how are things now...?

Well, pharmacokinetics and med chem are over, and they're probably my least favourite subjects, so...*lights match and burns all notes*.

Just kidding.

I'd better have passed though, I could not stand to have to do med chem again.

Only dispensing and pharmacology left. Am currently rather sleep deprived.

In other related news, my application to that pharmacy summer project thing was unsuccessful (see, I told you I'm getting dumb!), but that means I can go to KYLC now, as well as NTE, so I can do both Strands 1 and 2 in one summer! (Well that is the plan anyway. Am feeling rather mentally and spiritually unfit for such challenges at the moment, but must get on with it.)

Sigh...strangely enough, I'm not really looking forward to the holidays. Not that I want the exam period to last forever, but yeah.

Thanks for the nice comments though =)

The way things work

enough time to study + no procrastination = enough time to study

enough time to study + procrastination = not enough time to study

Therefore
enough time to study + procrastination + self-induced sleep deprivation = enough time to study

Now
enough time to study may or may not = good marks

And
good marks = meaningless

So what am I stressing about?


For a moment then the thought crossed my mind that maybe I've never really done anything useful in my life. And that maybe I never will. I don't really feel like I can do anything right. It seems like a useless struggle.

This week sucks.

Don't Panic?!?!?!?

I AM SO STUFFED FOR PHARMACOKINETICS AND MED-CHEM!!!

WHY DIDN'T I START STUDYING EARLIER????

My cousin's wedding

A Recount of Randomness

Last weekend my parents and I flew up to Brisbane for my cousin's wedding. (This is sounding like a highschool English homework assignment.) This cousin being my dad's oldest brother's daughter, my only cousin on my dad's side, who I hadn't seen in eleven years. (Shocking, I know.) Was originally quite disgruntled that it was going to be on the weekend before exams started, but it's a family happy happy joy joy occasion, and my dad's family rarely all get together, so what can you do.

The ceremony was held late in the afternoon at Customs House, outside, overlooking the river. Just as well it wasn't raining. It was the first ever "non-Christian" wedding ceremony I've ever been to. It was quite short, and informal, almost to the point of being disorganised, but maybe that was just this one. I say that because there were only enough chairs set out for about a quarter of the people there, and everyone else just stood around randomly. And people were still standing around talking, with their backs to the red carpet, when the string quartet started playing and first bridesmaid began walking down the aisle! I was like, what the?...but oh well.

Anyway, the view was very nice, especially later on when the sun had set and all the lights on the bridge over the river lit up. After the ceremony the professional photos were taken (yay, first time in "bride's family"!), and then had to stand around for about two hours before the reception, and my shoes were killing me (cos they took away all the chairs!). Oh but I got to watch a tea pouring ceremony for the first time! (Actually not very interesting, but at least now I've seen one.)

The reception was held inside at the same location after cocktails and stuff was over. Lovely red/pink theme to the wedding. I thought I was going to be seated with my parents and relatives since I didn't know anyone else there, but to my utter mortification (at least initially), I was to sit at a table, all by myself, with......people. Which meant that I would have to......talk. To complete strangers. Noooooooo! (OK, keep in mind at this stage I was kinda tired with hurting feet and stressed about my upcoming OSCE. Socialising with random people, who all looked at least five years older than me, was not on my list of top priorities at that time.)

Well, it didn't turn out to be that bad in the end. It was really awkward at first, but got to meet the people at my end of the table...a guy from Auckland called Campbell, who kept going outside at random intervals to have a smoke; someone called Mark I thought didn't look like a Mark at all; Lorraine (also a Kiwi, a nurse from Christchurch, who at first I thought was late 20s - early 30s, later on I asked her how long she had been working as a nurse for, and she said, longer than the groom has been alive, and considering the groom is in his late 20s....crap she looks young for her age!!)...anyway, all these people met the bride and groom in the UK, where they all worked for a few years. Also met my cousin's godbrother, who's sister and mother are pharmacists (save me), and one of my cousin's highschool friends....This was all rather weird for me as I still haven't met the groom in person and don't know my cousin at all having not seen her since I was eight.

This post is getting rather long. Let's have an intermission. Get up and stretch, go to the bathroom, get something to drink...

***********INTERMISSION************


OK, now where was I? Oh yeah, sitting at the table having dinner at the reception, talking to random people. Speaking of the table...it was the one right next to the jazz band! =D =D =D Which made conversation rather difficult (almost yelling). But boy were they good. (Not that I would know if they were really good or not, since I haven't seen that many jazz bands and don't know anything about jazz.) But the best thing was every time Mark got out of his seat (not that I made him get out of his seat or anything, he just happened to be out of his seat all of the time), I got to see what the pianist was doing...who I might mention for someone's benefit, looked like what I think Jonathan Rhys Meyers (the dude from Bend it Like Beckham) looks like. (Or at least, what I think I remember him as looking like. Which may mean that he could not look like him at all. I mean, I might not even be close. But he was blonde. Is JRM even blonde?)

Anyway, for a few minutes I got the crazy idea into my head that after I'm done with pharmacy, I might do jazz piano. Cos it just looks fully sick.

The funny thing was at the end of the night when we were about to leave, my dad commented that the band was really noisy, and I was like, no, they sound great! And then I realised that everywhere else in the room besides at our table, you couldn't hear the piano at all over the brass/bass/drums. Which indeed, sounded noisy. Yay for sitting with a table of random people next to the band!

So that was my adventure in Brisbane. Oh and something else, we got a free fireworks show from the balcony, cos it was November 5th, Guy Fawkes night, and someone put on fireworks over the river! Wasn't my cousin lucky? Also, during the ceremony, at the very moment they were married, church bells from across the road rang out, it seemed like it was planned, but later they were like, no we didn't plan that at all, it was just a coincidence! Tres cool.

Have I bored you all with enough details? The only thing left I have to say is that the bassist was playing a bass with five strings. To which most of you will probably go "So....?", but I thought that was interesting.

Too bad for Pun, I'm not going to list out what was on the menu....instead, just for you dear Punny, I will tell you that my cousin works as a nurse.....and her name is...





...Christine.

*bwahahahaha....rotfl*

One year already?

It appears it has been one whole year since I put up my first post on this blog. And this is my 96th post. Now 96 is conveniently a multiple of 12, which means on average I have been posting 8 times a month. Is that excessive? Or 1.8 posts per week. Or 0.26 posts per day. Which somehow sounds a lot less than 8 posts a month. Or does it sound like more?

Of course, in the end it doesn't have to do with how many posts you've put up, but how much time you've spent writing up those posts. Not to mention comments. I wonder how many times I've commented?

Well this is turning out to be one of my more pointless posts. Can't really think of anything to write...oh wait, yes I can!

*runs off to appear in another post*

ok, removing post that was here for a few hours, just in case people doing the exam this afternoon have somehow found this blog and happen to be blog surfing instead of studying just before their exams....lalala i hope i didn't just give the answers away to someone...

[Edit]

It's back now =)

Farrrrrrrr out!!!!!

OK, just came out from my OSCE (finally found out what that stands for: Objective Structured Clinical Examination.....although I don't know what is so objective about it, it definitely won't be the marking) and......*grrrrrrr!!! at myself*


So for once, I was TOTALLY CALM (I'm usually shaking when I go into these things) must have been divine intervention, wasn't nervous or anything, heart rate was normal, could talk properly, and the case wasn't too hard.....So hopefully I'll be all good for the oral marking criteria (at least it felt alright), but unfortunately in terms of clinical stuff I recommended all the wrong things.

Why do I keep getting cases on UTIs???? 46yo woman with recurrent UTIs, with script for a new antibiotic, 3 day course of Noroxin, as she had had a urine test which showed the strain of bacteria she had was resistant to the drug the doctor had previously prescribed. So all good as Noroxin is meant to be used for resistant strains. But completely didn't realise the course was meant to be increased to 10 days as her UTIs are recurrent. How stupid of me. Goodbye to Major Finding and Recommendation #1.

Also stuffed up Major Finding #1 as I suggested nitrofurantoin to be used for prophylaxis of her recurrent UTIs, not realising that nitrofurantoin interacts with Noroxin, and these two drugs should not be used together. Stupid stupid stupid.

Hopefully I at least pass with what I wrote for Major finding #2 (that she is at risk for developing diabetes and should get tested). You have to pass this stupid exam to pass the subject! even if you've passed everything else! If I fail this, it would be a total waste of my flukes in our earlier 20% case study assessment and 5% multi-guess quizzes! (I was so surprised when I got those back, I thought that maybe for once, I might even get a credit in this subject!)

(Not that there's anything wrong with passes, but would you trust a pharmacist who's never gotten above 65 in the subject called "Pharmacy Practice"? It's pretty much the only subject that really counts and has any relevance to being a pharmacist, and I suck at it. (OK, maybe the other subjects are kinda relevant as well...)

Waaahhh! The case was so easy and I stuffed it up! Not enough time. If there had been more time I would have checked things more thoroughly. Not that real-life pharmacists get enough time to do things.

Oh well. It's over now. Back to studying for normal sit-down exams.

Star Fade

(...the tragic love song/poem, inspired by Angi's post on star fades.) (I hope she doesn't mind me stealing her ideas!)


Once upon a balmy night
In the summer of our youth
We drank in the moonlight
While breezes caught our whispered truths

And in the silence of the moment
It could all have been a dream
And you said, "Run Away's been done before,
Won't you star fade out with me?"

Once upon a rainy night
Now wiser through the years
We sat while in the shaded light
Your cheeks glistened with tears

And in the silence of the moment
I could just recall that dream
Where you said, "Run Away's been done before,
Won't you star fade out with me?"

But oh, there were no stars that night
The rain fell from the skies
It washed away our memories
It drowned our empty sighs

Once upon a frosty night
When winter trees were bare
You lay in peace and said goodbye
To all that we had shared

And in the silence of the moment
There was nothing left to dream
And I said, "I've never been here before,
Please don't star fade out from me."


Awww......*sniff* That's so sad! (*Ahem* in both senses of the word....c'mon, it is really late, though, I am kinda still wide awake, despite needing to get up early tomorrow morning for a flight to Brisbane...yeah, sorry, couldn't work out whether to be tragic or funny, so went for both simultaneously with above disasterous consequences.)

Acknowledgements again to the original blog post =)

O Lord, the clouds are gathering

Words and music by Graham Kendrick


O Lord, the clouds are gathering, the fire of judgement burns,
How we have fallen!
O Lord, you stand appalled to see your laws of love so scorned,
And lives so broken.

Have mercy Lord,
Forgive us Lord,
Restore us Lord; revive your church again
Let justice flow,
Like rivers,
And righteousness like a neverfailing stream.

O Lord, over the nations now, where is the dove of peace?
Her wings are broken,
O Lord, while precious children starve, the tools of war increase,
Their bread is stolen.

Have mercy Lord,
Forgive us Lord,
Restore us Lord; revive your church again
Let justice flow,
Like rivers,
And righteousness like a neverfailing stream.

O Lord, dark powers are poised to flood our streets with hate and fear,
We must awaken!
O Lord, let love reclaim the lives that sin would sweep away,
And let Your kingdom come!

Have mercy Lord,
Forgive us Lord,
Restore us Lord; revive your church again
Let justice flow,
Like rivers,
And righteousness like a neverfailing stream.

Yet O Lord, your glorious cross shall tower triumphant in this land,
Evil confounding;
Through the fire, your suffering church displays the glories of her Christ,
Praises resounding.

Have mercy Lord,
Forgive us Lord,
Restore us Lord; revive your church again
Let justice flow,
Like rivers,
And righteousness like a neverfailing stream,
A neverfailing stream.


"But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!"
Amos 5:24

Late night meandering rhymings

Feeling uninspired
Feeling like nothing has transpired
I even had to look up that word
It was something that I've heard
But didn't know what it meant

Feeling kinda tired
Feeling like my brain has been rewired
What's the big deal
With writing how I feel
All that time spent

Writing out the lines
As if lines could make my paths straight
As if lines could get rid of all the hate
As if lines could tell my fate

I'll give you my hand
Maybe then you'd understand
Not that lines could tell my fate
Not that hands could ever equate
To what is felt inside

But hand in hand
Even if you still don't understand
No longer alone to keep the pace
No longer alone the world to face
No longer a need to hide