Meaningless, meaningless

Bored, lonely and directionless.







Nothing to look forward to?






(Bloody blog URL.)

The sky looked like a painted ceiling

SIGH

BIGGER SIGH

*SLAP*

*Gulp*

While I was meant to be doing stuff for uni last night, I had a sudden thought that maybe I should go and do a music degree. So I started looking up the requirements needed to get into the Con*. And then I thought, what am I doing, this is crazy. The feasibility of a career in music is like, zero. I gave up on the uni work and went to bed, kinda wishing I had done music for my HSC, and that I could maybe go back to when I was in highschool and do everything all over again.

And then I started to feel really, really old. That maybe it was too late**. That I've gotten to this stage in life and achieved nothing.

I couldn't sleep. 3:30am, still tossing and turning. What's going to happen to me? What am I going to do with myself...for the next 70 years***?

Everything seems so much worse late at night when you're tired and have stuff due the next day...

Waaaaah.....****


------------
*from where I am at the moment....hard, very hard.
** yes, it was late at night as well, but that's not what I meant.
***Besides being heavily dependant on pharmaceuticals for the latter half
****I wonder if one of the effects of being stressed is that you start putting footnotes into your thoughts.

Two hectic weekends

Well last weekend was the first ever EU Pharmacy Weekend Away, which was pretty cool, and then last night we had the RICE Rally....haha, it was INSANE I tell you! Well, at least it felt that way to me, especially the beginning, and the end. I was so tired today, even though I didn't really do all that much last night. I'll write more about it when I'm not meant to be doing work....


"The World You Love" - Jimmy Eat World

I've got a story it's almost finished
Now all I need is someone to tell it too
Maybe that's you

Our time is borrowed and spent too freely
Every minute I have needs to be made up,
But how?
I'm looking for a nice way to say "I'm out",
I want out...

I fall asleep with my friends around me
Only place I know I feel safe
I'm gonna call this home

The open road is still miles away
Hey nothing serious
We still have our fun
Oh we had it once

Windows open and close
That's just how it goes

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we love forever gone
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are

I'm in love with the ordinary
I need a simple space, and rest my head
And everything gets clear

I'm a little ashamed for asking
But just a little helps
It gets me straight again
Helps me get over it, over it

It might seem like a dream
But it's real to me

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we loved forever gone
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are

You should see the canals are freezing
You should see me high, you should just be here
Be with me here

It doesn't seem there's hope for me, I let you down
But I won't give in now not for any amount

Don't it feel like sunshine after all?
The world we loved forever gone
We're only just as happy
As everyone else thinks
Now don't that feel like sunshine after all?
The world we loved forever gone
We're only just as happy
As everyone else seems to think we are


I like this song because I could never tell if it was meant to be happy or sad...