I'm a liar. Especially on Sundays. I tell more lies on Sundays than I do any other day of the week. Except maybe Fridays. I can think of at least four people I lied to last Sunday. Well maybe they weren't direct lies as such, more not volunteering the whole truth. But it's all the same. Maybe you were one of those people I lied to on Sunday. Maybe I've lied to you on previous Sundays.
Why do I lie? Is it called lying if you side-step answers to questions you don't want to talk about? What if it was even for the other person's benefit that you didn't go into the truth? And I'm not referring to gossip here. How much information are you obliged to reveal about yourself in a casual conversation? Sometimes it is less painful for all parties involved to just tell a white lie.
Why do people lie? Is it because people know they just aren't articulate enough to be able to tell the truth without hurting someone else's feelings or making someone else uncomfortable? Sure, you could give the "no comment" , or "I don't really want to go into that" response, but then people are going to read their own meaning into that.
Maybe people lie because they don't expect others to be encouraging in return. Why bother telling the truth when it will just be met with indifference, misunderstanding or a condescending sort of sympathy?
Hmmm...now I kinda understand why some people stop coming to church.
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Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting way, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting way, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16
About Me
- Vivian
- It's not about me. But being human, I often want it to be. It's not about me. So what is it about?
11 comments:
Hrmm. No comment. Hehe. Kidding.
Its a tricky one eh. I've had some experiences in the past where I've been asked about some quite personal matters and told the truth due to feeling pressured.. but I actually wish I hadn't. I think ideally, the "I prefer not to talk about this" is the best option.. but as you said, yes ppl aren't dumb and might read something into it. But as loving bro and sis, they would hopefully not disclose their speculations or even entertain those speculations (too much). I think it takes wisdom and maturity - which a lot of younger (and sometimes older) aged ppl have yet to.. acquire.
But hey, better they ask you directly about things than talk about it with someone else behind your back.
Oi vey, I know what you mean Viv, last year during Yabs when our leader asked how my family talks were going. I was kinda shocked about him asking something private in public, so I responded with "It's alright, it'll be sorted out." Even Belinda saw that I wasn't comfortable answering that question. Meanwhile B's known me for 8 or so years.
Meanwhile you know that I'm a very blunt and brusque person and I don't like lying myself. Because obviously it's a commandment, even though I curse everyday. Actually bloody isn't a swear word here.
If you're not having a good day, say it... but not in so many words. Reply with 'Not toooo bad'. And with not answering straight, people are more perceptive than we think, communication is 10% verbal and 90% body. If your verbal and body signs don't coordinate, there's something suss there anyway. It's like if I start talking about POTO and my shoulders are slugged, eyes down, frowning, monotonous. Insane, will never happen. It's more like jumping/bouncing up and down clapping and making "Wheeeeeee" noises.
People will read meaning into anything, if you want to avoid answering, give a neutral answer and change the topic, talk about the questioner.
A: "How 's Hons going?"
B: "Oi vey, could be better. How's exams been?"
A: "Oh my goodness, I think I failed that maths one."
B: "Really?" *eyebrow lift* "Why would you think that?"
A: "Well blah blah blah"
Wordy advice:
'How are you?' 'How's life been?'
= 'It's been going' 'Cosi cosi' 'Could be better' 'Can't complain' or the very Aussie (or maybe westie) way of saying 'Not too good' 'Not bad' 'Not well'
But Viv, you just said yourself you're a liar. Why do you lie? Is it the second last paragraph?
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
-- Ephesians 6:10-18
But don't give up! Stand firm in the promise God gives. Stand firm in His righteousness. Stand firm in clinging to God.
And pray.
(I wrote something else before, but then I realised how patronising it was. The reality is, I have no idea what you're thinking/feeling, or what to say... You don't need to lie, nor be ashamed of your burdens in life. It is perfect fine to take your time in determining who you can trust. I hope you feel better eventually.)
Pun, I am never in my life saying "oi vey". LOL
andrew: awww do I get to hear the patronising version some other time?
and in case anyone is wondering, the last line of the post was kind of just an afterthought...
Well any Gentile saying is also good. Such as 'Yikes', *sigh*, 'Argh', 'Ugh', 'Purple walking dishwasher' is also good. ;)
But oy vey is an awesome saying!
Hmm... well I think that not being entirely truthful is something we're all guilty of doing sometimes... as perhaps is giving condescending advice/sympathy dammit why did i navigate away from your blog, now i can't quote properly!!
Anyway, of course you are entirely entitled to share how much or how little information about yourself that you want. And sharing info in a public situation is rarely what anyone wants.
But I still think truthfulness is good, and it can be a good thing to share stuff with people. Hey, they're just trying to be good friends after all.
Well, that was both fence-sitting-y and kinda harsh sounding. Advice to you- don't try to respond meaningfully to things when you're feeling rushed. :p
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For,
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
- 1 Peter 3:8-12
It may be hard to do, but God wonderfully equips us (ala Ephesians 6).
Entrust yourself to Him because he is faithful.. Keep fighting the good fight!
ps. church is the best place for misfits like you, me and everyone else... hmmmm
Yay for misfits! ;)
As christians, we all know it's hard not to sin, but we have been given the choice, the free will. If we weren't chosen, we'd continue spouting off lies left, right and centre and never wonder beyond it. But because we are God's children, we have the choice to lie, or to tell the truth. We know the consequences of it.
Keep on chugging! ;)
Wow, thanks for everyone's lengthy contributions, maybe I should put *controversial* posts up more often, hehehe.
Hmmm I just realised that I was thinking of the wrong Alex when I read alex's comment, ooops..
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